THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG OR SOMETHING

So, you’re in their room, in their bed, Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space is...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 22:00:00 -0400

So, you’re in their room, in their bed, Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space is playing and now they’re in you - literally, figuratively? Moments before this you had let them see what you look like when you’re horrified and crying. For the first time. It’s alright. You’ve decided that death and fearing it is about as carnal as fucking and being fucked.

All I want in life’s a little bit of love to take the pain away

Fingernails digging into your hips and sighs brushing past your neck

I think I’m in love

Probably just hungry

I think I’m a fool for you babe

Probably just yearning

Breaking skin with your teeth instead of letting those words out

I think I wanna tell the world

Probably ain’t listening

But the more they know the less scared you are and that is not how it usually goes

I love the way you slide

Stay with me

Slide all the time, don’t go

Your hair is being pushed out of the way and the grip on your throat is getting tighter

Going fast to hit the sky

I am I am I am

I’m playing with fire if you know what I mean

Let it go, welcome back

I’ve been told that this will heal given time

Lord I have a broken heart

There’s nothing worth saying out loud at this point

Hey man there’s a hole in my reason that I gotta close ‘Cause all my love died for nothin’ I suppose

Come on kid Come on

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 22:10:56 -0500

Come on kid

Come on

My father wanted a girl, but my mother wanted a boy. My father picked my name, but my mother wanted...

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 03:29:40 -0500

My father wanted a girl, but my mother wanted a boy. My father picked my name, but my mother wanted nothing to do with it. My father would brush my hair until it was straight, but my mother liked it better when it was wavy. My father smacked me only once, but my mother

Does this have anything to do with anything?

I’VE BEEN PLAYING WITH FIRE A LOT

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 08:26:23 -0500

I’VE BEEN PLAYING WITH FIRE A LOT

gallowpieces: once she said to me this, “i coughed up a bouquet in the stall spat out some...

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 19:20:43 -0500

gallowpieces:

once she said to me this,

“i coughed up a bouquet in the stall

spat out some flowers

gagged on some beauty

drooled splendor on the porcelain

and i thought to myself,

if anyone were here to see this

i don’t think they’d understand

me hacking and choking on irises

so i picked myself up

flushed the flowers away”

Running his fingers through my hair and over my collarbones explaining what he’s scared of and...

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 18:34:34 -0500

Running his fingers through my hair and over my collarbones explaining what he’s scared of and I wonder I wonder I wonder so hard

It tastes good but feels like poison, that’s why

Sat, 08 Dec 2012 13:33:16 -0500

It tastes good but feels like poison, that’s why

Photo

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 21:07:57 -0500

Said the stranger

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 18:01:48 -0500

You seem lonely and helpless

I still think you’re really cute

"I am vulnerable. Starved for kindness, and when I receive it, I lose my mind."

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 10:29:50 -0500

“I am vulnerable. Starved for kindness, and when I receive it, I lose my mind.”

- Marjorie Liu

Sit in the Liar Corner. No one is aware of the purpose of this corner except for the other liars...

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 11:05:24 -0500

Sit in the Liar Corner. No one is aware of the purpose of this corner except for the other liars around you. You all sit there because you have gaps to fill on your food diary and only minutes left before you get in. It’s as much part of the ritual to lie as anything else.

Breathe in. Step in. Sit down. Wait. Hear the nurse call your name.

Strip down to your underwear. Glare at the nurse. Step on the scale. Glare at the scale. Glare back at the nurse as she takes notes while trying to decide how to verbalize what the numbers on the scale mean without hurting your feelings. Get dressed, it’s cold in there.

Join the others in the group you belong to but not really. Wait for doctor #1 to lead your (?) group to the room designed for the silly thing they call Group Therapy. You’ve sensed from the beginning you’re not wanted there and you’ll be proven right soon enough.

Listen to doctor #1 speak. Listen to the others speak. Lie when it’s your turn to speak. Show your diary to the others because you’re required to. Lie lie lie it’s none of their business.

Dig your nails into your skin and wait for doctor #2 to call your name. Look at the others in that waiting room. I know why you’re drinking that much water. I know you’ve probably hidden something in your underwear. I know why you’re sitting like that. I know why you’re dressed like that. Don’t think they’re not onto you too.

Show your diary to doctor #2. Show her the meals you’ve crossed over with a red marker. Discuss the red crosses all over that thing. There should be more but you lied. Tell her the truth. Grab the piece of paper that will grant you more drugs.

Wait for doctor #3 to call your name. Look around some more.

Discuss your meals with doctor #3. Let her tell you what you’re supposed to eat because she knows better (?). Grab a new list of things to put in your mouth every day.

March to the supermarket and get everything on that list. You know the chances of almost all of it going to waste but you’re willing to try (?). Go home, finally.

Repeat weekly.

Grow exhausted.

Lie.

This is stupid.

Get kicked out of Group Therapy. Can you blame them?

Revolt.

Quit.

Now that you’re older and looking back, decide if you’re ready for this again.

Photo

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 20:16:34 -0500

Photo

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 20:16:06 -0500

Last time I really really listened to music it was Big Black’s Atomizer and I was shoving all...

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 19:58:52 -0500

Last time I really really listened to music it was Big Black’s Atomizer and I was shoving all of my bullshit into a suitcase preparing to move out of the last house in Toronto I could briefly call my own and thinking about wether or not I should be drinking that (much) beer and thinking about counting time and thinking about kissing and thinking about what it must feel like to set yourself on fire

Jump kerosene

The year is ending and only half of it is real

Photo

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 11:42:17 -0500

Have you ever been so overwhelmed that all you can smell is ammonia

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 19:29:20 -0500

Have you ever been so overwhelmed that all you can smell is ammonia

Photo

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 19:26:09 -0500

Let me the fuck off this bus I can’t handle it anymore. I dismissed two things I love and I am...

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 19:08:41 -0500

Let

me the fuck off this

bus I can’t handle it

anymore. I dismissed

two things I love and

I am left with one other

thing

Photo

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 15:43:37 -0500

Photo

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 13:56:13 -0500